continued grief

Speaking of goodbyes, when we went through training in Colorado earlier this year, we discussed grief and loss in regards to leaving to go to Kenya. Kevin and I came to the conclusion who our hardest goodbyes would be and even discussed how we would say goodbye to these dear friends. Unexpectedly and tragically, our friend Kylee passed away just days after we finished our training. We didn't get to say goodbye. We've grieved that loss and continue to, even when we least expect it. We are learning what grief looks like and how to walk through this journey of loss. I knew that I'd experience this loss when I got to Kenya, but I didn't expect it to be like this, to be so final and so soon. God is teaching me about His healing and comfort. At times I feel like a slow learner, but I am seeing Him work. I am thankful that through this loss, He is drawing me towards Himself and teaching me. I am thankful for a husband who is loving me well as I mourn and grieve. I am undeserving of both God's goodness and my husband's goodness. I am immeasurably blessed.

goodbye granny

With all the goodbyes I am realizing that I automatically categorize people into different groups like "I'll see you again" or "I will not see you for 3 years, but it won't be that much different than the last three years" or "I will not see you for a long time, but will think of you often" or the hardest category "I will not see you, and may not even talk to you perhaps ever (if the Lord should take you home)". My beloved grandma falls into this last category...I realized it on the phone the last time that we talked. With most of the other people, even the people that I don't think that I'll hear from over the next few years, there is still a chance that I'll get a call or maybe a Skype conversation, but with Grandma there is no foreseeable chance of that. She doesn't own a computer, nor does she want one. She doesn't expect to hear from us except by way of others who are talking to us. Her health is good right now, but statistically she is getting to the age where when things go down hill they usually do fairly quick. So it seems that whenever I call her to say good bye for the last time before we leave, it actually could be the last time that we talk until heaven!

a different goodbye

We recently said goodbye to our future teammates, Jordan and Lee Anne as they depart for Kenya. This goodbye is different than others because we'll be with Jordan and Lee Anne for the next several years, we just don't know when we'll be there. We consider them to be such a blessing to us now as well as in the future. Jordan and Lee Anne have two little boys. B is just a month older than J and Ja is a month younger than M. Going on the field, knowing they'll be another American family for us to do ministry with and raise our kids with is great. Jordan and Kevin have built a friendship over the last two years, working together, sharing an office and talking a lot about Kenya and the future. Lee Anne and I are looking forward to being moms together and even ministering to other women together.

With Jordan and Lee Anne gone, our desire to leave is even stronger. We just want to go! Another future teammate also arrived in Narok last week. Our team is getting there and we want to be there too.

I've been thinking that I don't just want to be in Kenya, I feel a deep yearning to be there. I want to be learning about the people we'll be serving and the culture we'll be living in and the language we'll be speaking.

it has started...

The beginning of this blog...but not the beginning of the journey. We have been working with the same organization over the last five years. The last 6 months of which have begun a new chapter as we have begun to explore the idea of moving our family overseas...specifically to Kenya.

We must rely upon partners in our work as they individually provide funds and support for our work. This is our focus for the time being leading to an unknown departure date for us in leaving all of our friends families and known way of life.

thus the Adventure begins...